Wizards of Wine Hide Behind Irony Curtain

Here in the land of the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board, within the comfy confines of the Wine Shrine bellows a great voice.

“Do you presume to criticize the Great PLCB? You ungrateful creatures! Think yourselves lucky that I’m giving you audience tomorrow, instead of 20 years from now! The Great PLCB has spoken!”Wizard

This was as much the response to a simple query denied recently to Pennsylvania Independent reporter Eric Boehm who dared ask a PLCB spokesperson about how part of the agency worked.

When asked how the PLCB arrived at its decision to open some stores for longer hours during the holidays the spokesman insisted a right-to-know request should be filed before that information would be made public!

“This is a very busy time of year, so we want to be as responsive to consumers as we can,” said a spokeswoman for the PLCB.

Highly ironic, because just hours earlier, the same spokesperson issued a public news release touting the decision to extend hours, then refused to answer specific follow-up questions on how that decision was made.

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. Go – before I lose my temper! The Great and Powerful PLCB has spoken!

So in the PLCB’s obsession to control our consumer decisions, it appears the truth and the Fourth Estate are firmly in target.  Outrageous?  Remember TableLeaf and the myriad of investigations dogging the Dukes of Distilleries.

Are these bad people?  No, it’s a bad system, impossible to modernize or improve upon except to privatize and allow the free market to restore sanity and solutions to what consumers and taxpayers truly want.  In the words of the Great Oz himself, “Oh, no, my dear; I’m really a very good man, but I’m a very bad Wizard.”

As for the PLCB, a very bad wizard indeed. 

Until we bid adieu to Oz, stay thirsty my comrades.