Dailies Declare Defending Dukes of Distillation Dereliction of Duty

Declaring a dereliction of duty to delay disposal of the PLCB’s monopoly of manipulation, mediocrity, mismanagement and malfeasance, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review editorial team lambasted lawmakers, saying some stood as, “very poor excuses for state representatives.”


Pouring in from around Pennsylvania, publishers are pulverizing poorly performing politicians and the Princes of Pinot for pushing off privatization.

Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Kinney called out Conti on the corruption controversy, calling it, “one of the more flagrant acts of arrogance.”

The Scranton Times-Tribune roasted routed Republicans, remarking, “It’s curious that they can’t seem to pull the trigger on a matter that is supposed to be one of their core principles – the supremacy of the private marketplace.”

Arrogance, apathy, and alliteration aside, it was a weak week for the Wizards of Wine and another ridiculous reminder that languishing liquor liberty bolsters border bleed and bootlegging.

Until next time, stay thirsty, my comrades.