PLCB: Buy More, Drink Less, Embrace Hypocrisy!

From the growing library of Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board doublespeak comes a PLCB news release today urging responsible drinking over the holiday season.

What’s wrong with that you ask?  Well, nothing if you are solely focused on the alcohol education and enforcement business.  But if you are the PLCB, you are also in the pinot pushing and policy perestroika business. And therein lies the turkey in this rub.

On one end of the market, the PLCB uses taxpayer money in the millions to design and buy advertising, thus promoting wine and liquor sales while competing unfairly with in-state beer and out-of-state private enterprise (see these great taxpayer-funded holiday ads in Harrisburg saying government-sold booze is as American as Thanksgivng and pumpkin pie).  On the other side of the market, the languishing liquor lords are putting out the fires they helped start by spending more of your money with an education, regulation and enforcement mission. While the latter is noble and necessary, the former fermented farce is not.

‘Tis the season to be folly I suppose.

On another note, while we salute the new PLCB Chairman Joseph Brion for rightly supporting libation liberation and for his shout out to the troops this season, his words today present another interesting conflict of interest.

“It is our hope, that everyone will take a few moments throughout the holidays and every day to pay honor and respect to our men and women in uniform, especially military personnel serving here and abroad who may not be home to enjoy a traditional Thanksgiving meal,” said Brion.

Hear, hear, Chairman! As someone who sat one Thanksgiving on the Tigris tackling terrible turkey and terrorists, I appreciate the words.  What I just don’t get is why these same troops who fight for freedom while serving our commonwealth and country have to come home and fight their commonwealth for the freedom to be served.

Until that great day when this hypocrisy is removed, stay thirsty my comrades.