PLCB Perestroika Progressing

History has shown that institutions in the last throes of despotism will make superficial concessions and grandstanding calls for openness just to hold onto power.  Apparently, our PLCB is no different. 

In yet another move to artificially mimic privatization and stave off the sale of the government-controlled liquor stores, the PLCB announced Thursday that hard liquor and spirits through kiosks might be coming to a supermarket near you.

“The board is looking to bring exactly what customers are saying they want – convenience,” spokesman Stacy Witalec said.

Convenience?  Yes, consumers just can’t wait to degrade themselves by blowing into a tube and gazing into a camera to have an offsite taxpayer-funded government employee approve their credentials and purchase just so we can get a bottle of schnapps.   

Exactly what we want?  Many of our citizens would love to consume an Irish coffee with Bailey’s Coffee-Flavored Irish Cream, but they’ll have to conveniently turn themselves into a bootlegger and head across our borders to do so.  Why?  The government has decided for you that you really don’t want to drink that anymore.

No, what would really be convenient and exactly what we want is if our legislators finally get the message that the overwhelming majority of Pennsylvanians want government to butt out of the booze business.  We shouldn’t need Glasnost to drink our Gray Goose, comrades.