PLCB: Shhhhhh, Innovation Elves at Work

Season’s greetings, comrades, and welcome to the PLCB North Pole (see Pennsylvania Perestroika Palace) where cutting-edge innovation and creativity are at a fever pitch these days.   

Booze elf

But unlike past creativity rollouts where Board members trumpeted with press releases and media availabilities single-bid contracts to campaign cronies that brought taxpayers and citizens such greatness as the multi-million-dollar sucking wine kiosk blow-and-go,  PLCB Innovation Elves are keeping their latest attempts to mimic free markets a secret. 

Shhhhhh, Santa Flaws is sleeping, but just in case you don’t want to go to the store and get your booze from taxpayer-paid union employees, you can now have a UPS driver deliver some of your favorite government-bought-advertised-and-sold wines and spirits delivered directly to your home or business.  So much for the unique union training and surefire system that kept Pennsylvania citizens safe, huh?  I guess that’s why those pesky press conferences are so yesterday.

So, why no big PR rollout like ghosts from innovation past?  According to an interview in the Philadelphia Inquirer, the new policy was quietly revealed online last week, said an LCB spokesman, because “it is a pilot program and the shipping infrastructure is still being put in place.”

Yeah, who needs to iron out those minor details like shipping infrastructure and business plans when you have taxpayer dollars to burn in case you are wrong?

So the perestroika plan continues and beatings will, too, until morale improves and Pennsylvanians forget about that little thing called freedom. Until then, stay thirsty my comrades.