PLCB Perestroika Program Pulled!

Consumers rejoice! Supermarket superman Wegmans Food Market, has declared dosvedanya to the PLCB’s pitiful perestroika program and killed the catastrophic kiosk program.

According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, which declared this announcement, “a blow to the state Liquor Control Board’s efforts to shed its image as a lumbering government bureaucracy and stave off privatization,” the supermarket chain said, “We had hoped that our customers would find the kiosks to be a valuable addition to their shopping experience, but that proved not to be the case.”

Consumers not finding value in limited selection, degrading themselves by blowing into a straw and gazing into a big brother booze camera so an offsite taxpayer funded unionized government worker can verify their purchase?  Say it ain’t so, Joe Stalin!

The supermarket chain, once home to about a third of all state-run wine kiosks, went on to say, “The kiosks have not realized their potential, and in some ways have been detrimental to our stores.”

But if consumers clamoring for capitalism was clear, the battered booze blunderers remained baffled.  The same PLCB spokesman who just weeks ago said, “The board is looking to bring exactly what customers are saying they want – convenience,” said despite clear failure, the kiosk program would continue.  Translation:  The beatings will continue until morale improves!

But don’t fret, comrades, the spokesman went on to say, “Our focus is the customer. We want to make sure we are doing things that people will embrace.”

Great!  We will embrace ending the government monopoly of mediocrity and immediate privatization of the state liquor stores so consumers can get what they want, when they want it.  See, that was easy.  Until then, stay thirsty my comrades.